Chris Roe Answers Five Questions

Chris Roe Answers Five Questions

In the latest installment of our regular running feature, Chris Roe, VP/Creative Director at Onion Labs in Chicago answers Five Questions With SCREEN.

SCREEN: What's your favorite day of the week? Why?

ROE: Tuesday. This day was named after Tyr, or Tiw, the Norse God of combat, victory and heroic glory. It’s a pretty bad-ass day.

SCREEN: Can you cook? If so, what's your go-to dish?

ROE: Yes. I try to mix it up but, in a pinch, anything from the “Will Cook For Sex” cookbook will do. I’m not kidding.

SCREEN: What's your most-played iPod track?

ROE: These days anything from Joshua James or Langhorn Slim.

SCREEN: Describe your perfect Sunday?

ROE: To start I have slept, uninterrupted, for 23 hours. I wake to the sounds of French horns softly playing “Sunday Morning Coming Down” by Kris Kristofferson. Predictable? Perhaps. Appropriate. Definitely.

I board my jet ski in order to reach the kitchen where several of the world’s top chefs and one from I.H.O.P. compete to make me breakfast. It is indeed a culinary battle for the ages. Feeling utterly satisfied I take my pony for a walk until the bloating subsides. Afterwards I attend an afternoon gala honoring the works of Moe, Larry and Curly at the MCA. As I am doubled over in laughter, tears streaming from my face, a beautiful woman of appropriate age and hair style approaches and asks if I’d like to accompany her to Portillo’s for a beef, dipped with hot. How can I resist? I do not. After a quick burping contest we acquire the necessary forms and are happily wed in a quick service presided over by Gene Wilder. Our reception is an intimate but lively one held onboard a private jet that Diddy uses to carry his luggage behind the jet he’s flying in. We are whisked away to an island never before seen by man. When we arrive I realize Sunday is almost over and I need to get back to Chicago because this question explicitly states that Sunday is the timeline. My new bride is furious that I need to cut our honeymoon short and decides to run off with the pilot of the luggage jet. But that doesn’t really matter because that part happens early Monday so this was still a perfect Sunday.

SCREEN: Who are you missing right now?

ROE: John Candy.


SCREEN: Plans for 2015?

ROE: Continue to grow Onion Labs into a dominant, potentially dangerous, and borderline illegal force in branded and social content. Also travel.